Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Glass houses

It is hard to be a parent and not to feel judged by others, at least once in a while. I remember a friend confessing to me that her first child was so well behaved that when she saw other children misbehaving, she mentally gave herself a pat on the back for being such a good parent and wondered what the other parents did not have more control over their children. Then this friend had her second child, who was quite challenging in contrast to her first, and this friend gained both an empathy for those struggling parents and a little more understanding of how much is nature rather than nurture when it comes to children.

I, myself, have found myself judging other parents for not intervening when I perceive (by my standards) that their children are "out of control" or "rude" or "inappropriate,"  and I often have to remind myself that I have no idea how it is to be that parent or what else is going on in that family's world. Also, truly, it is often none of my business. I am thinking of the words of Byron Katie, "I can find find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God's…If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine?" Or Eckhart Tolle's words of caution:  "Watch out for judging others - when you judge others, you are in essence judging yourself. Notice that."




No comments:

Post a Comment