Demands and Capacities

As 2015 draws to a close, I am able to reflect that it has been a good year for us as a family. My daughter continues to do well in school, tested well on the SATs, and is starting to look at colleges that will be a good fit for her. My son is having an easier year, spending much less time per night on homework than last year, and yet is still appropriately challenged. Happy children, happy family.

I am reminded of the work of a professor of mine in graduate school who is well known in the field of Stuttering. His "demands and capacities model"  (Woody Starkweather, 1990) holds that a child is more likely to stutter when his the demands for fluent speech in a situation exceeds his capacity/ability to produce such speech. This model held that decreasing demands (such as using a slower rate, not interrupting the child, not rushing the child, etc.) will lead to less stuttering as the demands are more in line with the child's speech capacities.

It strikes me that the same demands and capacities could be applied to educational performance, especially for children with ADHD and/or learning differences. For example, if the demands in terms of amount of homework exceeds the child's capacities to do such work in a timely manner (due to dyslexia, dysgraphia, attention issues, etc.), then a negative outcome is likely. If the demand is appropriate (such as the recommended 10 minutes of homework per grade, thus 60 minutes for a sixth grader, 120 minutes for a 12th grader), the child is more likely to succeed in school.

Interestingly, my seventh grade son, who needs frequent breaks, is now spending a more appropriate 1 1/2 to 2 hours per night on homework and my AP-loaded 11th grader is spending 4 to 5 hours many nights. In my daughter's case, her capacities still exceed the ridiculous demands of her classes and she is able to do very well and function in this environment. I recognize that her need to do well and drive to impress her teachers may be leading her to exceed the amount of time needed to get good but not great grades. My son, on the other hand, is much more relaxed this year and recently admitted that he used to try to be like his sister, but now realizes that he does not have to get straight A's to be happy.

Perhaps we should all think about our own demands and capacities. Maybe we should admit when the demands placed on us exceeds our ability to do something in a way that feels comfortable to us. As our demands lighten or our capacities grow, we can embrace more. Here's to being able to embrace more in 2016!